As a people pleaser, choosing yourself and tending to what you want and need can feel like you’re compromising your emotional safety. You may have been told and shown that you can be loved and validated as long as you sit back and stay quiet.

Some of my clients come in experiencing grief but they aren’t sure their loss is “big enough” or “the kind of loss” that needs worked through in therapy. Feelings of grief and loss aren’t restricted to losing someone.

Sometimes after a traumatic event, your brain and body get stuck replaying the trauma, causing you to feel like it’s happening again in the present moment even if it was years ago. When you talk about past trauma, you may start to feel sweaty, your heart starts racing, or you feel panicked and dreadful. Or you may go numb and find yourself staring off into space, feeling disconnected from yourself. When we feel this way, this means our window of tolerance is small, or possibly even nonexistent.

Here's the truth about the aftermath of a breakup: it's not always about longing for the person themselves but rather mourning the loss of the relationship itself.

In my practice, I’ve had the honor of helping individuals who’ve lost a loved one and to witness their growth from the time they first came in to see me to their last session. I used EMDR with these clients to help them cope with the trauma of their loss and the transformation I saw with these clients has made me want to further hone in on working with traumatic grief and loss.

Losing a loved one isn’t the only time we experience grief. Losing your sense of safety is also traumatic and can result in grief and PTSD.

There’s no guarantee that people won’t leave, and that’s the scary part. Sometimes they will leave, but do we really want those people in our life who throw a fit and walk out once we start to state our own thoughts?

I hear this type of statement from so many clients that struggle with anxiety and panic attacks.

Before I started attending therapy as a client, I always thought it was just a nice place to vent to a third party without them judging me.

Practicing mindfulness can change our mindset, which ultimately changes our nervous system.