Trying to Conceive After a Traumatic Labor and Delivery
Thinking about getting pregnant again after a traumatic birth can feel terrifying.
Even if you've physically healed, the emotional scars may still feel raw. You might feel your heart skip a beat just thinking about going through labor again. You're not alone—and your fear is valid.
If you're trying to conceive after a traumatic labor and delivery, you're likely carrying a mix of emotions: longing, anxiety, grief, hope, and fear. You may feel stuck between wanting to expand your family and fearing a repeat of what happened last time.
This blog will walk you through:
Why it's normal to feel scared or unsure
What birth trauma really is
How EMDR therapy can help you process and release trauma
Ways to support yourself as you try to conceive again
When Trying Again Brings Up Old Fear
After a difficult birth, the idea of doing it all over again—getting pregnant, giving birth, going through postpartum—can feel like walking back into a fire you barely escaped. You might:
Revisit the trauma of your last delivery every time you see a pregnancy test
Avoid discussions about growing your family because the anxiety is too overwhelming
Feel guilty for not being more excited
Panic at the thought of being back in a hospital
Worry that no one will listen to you the next time, either
Trying to conceive again doesn't just bring up logistics and planning—it often reactivates unresolved trauma from your past birth experience.
What Counts as a Traumatic Birth?
Many women don’t even realize they’ve experienced birth trauma because they think it only counts if their life or baby’s life was truly at risk. But trauma isn’t about what technically happened—it’s about how your brain and body interpreted the event.
You may have experienced birth trauma if:
You felt powerless, afraid, or ignored during labor
You had an emergency C-section or unexpected medical intervention
Your baby required a NICU stay
You experienced excessive pain, bleeding, or medical complications
You felt dismissed or unsupported by medical staff
You feared for your life or your baby’s life
Even if your birth story “ended well” from a medical perspective, the emotional toll can still linger long after.
What Trauma Can Look Like After a Difficult Delivery
After a traumatic labor and delivery, many women struggle with:
Flashbacks or intrusive memories of the birth
Panic or dread at the thought of getting pregnant again
Sleep problems, nightmares, or hypervigilance
Emotional numbness or feeling detached from their current baby
Guilt, shame, or self-blame
Avoidance of OB/GYN appointments or hospitals
These are signs of postpartum PTSD—and they can absolutely affect how you feel about trying to conceive again.
Trying to Conceive While Living with Birth Trauma
Trying to get pregnant again while carrying unprocessed trauma is like driving with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. Part of you wants to move forward, but another part is holding back—because it still feels unsafe.
This internal conflict can look like:
Tracking ovulation while simultaneously dreading a positive test
Feeling emotionally reactive during pregnancy announcements
Putting off medical appointments out of fear
Sabotaging intimacy or avoiding conversations about future children
This doesn't mean you don’t want to have another baby. It means your nervous system is protecting you—and it needs help to feel safe again.
How EMDR Therapy Can Help You Heal from Birth Trauma
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful, research-backed trauma therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing experiences so they no longer feel overwhelming or emotionally charged.
Instead of reliving your birth story over and over, EMDR helps your brain file that experience away properly—so you can move forward without fear hijacking your body and mind.
Through EMDR therapy, you can:
Reduce flashbacks and anxiety
Release guilt and self-blame
Feel more emotionally grounded
Rebuild a sense of trust in your body
Approach conception with less fear and more clarity
Make decisions about your future from a place of peace—not panic
It’s okay to carry grief from your last experience. It’s okay to feel cautious. You’re not erasing what happened—you’re choosing to move forward with more tools, more support, and more emotional readiness.
With EMDR and the right therapeutic care, many women can go on to have empowered, supported pregnancies—even after trauma. Some choose different birthing plans. Some choose to work with new providers. Some simply choose to heal before stepping into another chapter.
Whatever path you choose, it’s yours. And you don’t have to walk it alone.
How I Can Help
At Regnier Restorative Counseling, I specialize in EMDR therapy for women recovering from traumatic births. I work with moms who are considering another pregnancy but feel anxious, scared, or stuck. Whether you're in Reston, VA, or need virtual EMDR sessions from anywhere in Virginia, Maryland, Washington DC, Michigan, or Indiana, I'm here to support you.
Here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free consultation
Choose between in-person EMDR intensives or virtual sessions
Begin healing from your last birth—so you can move forward with clarity and confidence
Trying again is brave. Healing first is powerful. Let’s do both. 💛
Services Offered with Kate Regnier, LCSW and EMDR Therapist
Have you experienced a traumatic birth or perinatal loss and now find yourself overwhelmed by flashbacks, guilt, or emotional numbness? Specializing in birth trauma, perinatal grief, and PTSD, Kate helps mothers process the unthinkable and find relief from anxiety, intrusive memories, and the weight of heartbreak—so they can begin to heal and feel safe in their bodies again. Kate see’s clients in person in Reston, VA and virtually across the DMV, Indiana, and Michigan. To learn more about Kate, visit the page Meet Kate and check out more on the blog. Click here to schedule a free consultation.
Disclaimer* The content provided in this blog is intended for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice. While I strive to ensure the accuracy of the information shared, I cannot guarantee that all information is current or correct. Readers are advised to consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions based on this post.
